I’m 16 years old..
My Girlfriend was beautiful. All the boys were after her, she was such an individual and so confident.
She was literally always laughing and smiling, brightening everyones day up.
All my friends would say she was ‘hot’, but I could see so much beyond just that.
So we started going out, and even though I loved her and had a great time with her (we had stuff in common, a love of rock music and playing guitar and much more) It wasn’t long before the cracks of this ‘perfect’ girl began to show.
She had an adddiction and an obsession with her apperaence I soon found out.
She never left the house or let me saw her without make up, although I told her she’d look even more beautiful without it. When we were out she’s have to check the mirror alot, and eventually she came out to me as having a form of OCD with her apperaence, which I accepted.
The worst part was the addiction to bleaching her hair. I hated it as I could see her hair’s condition was getting wrecked. I told her not to but still she would.

It all got too much for her, she wrote in er suicide note ‘It was a vicious circle; I couldn’t not bleach my hair as I am so convinced I look horrible with any other colour than peroxide blonde, but the bleach has wrecked the condition and the more i bleach it, the worse the condition will be.’

She wrote in the note she loved me more than anyone else and I was her only love. And that she felt so guilty seeing me as she was not good enough for me.

I can’t cope with this!
Is there anything I should’ve done?! I did the usual, told anyone I could who I thought could help, but I had NO IDEA she was going to kill herself


  1. Jennifer says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Her life is like an unfulfilled promise. Don’t blame yourself. When I read stories like that it reminds me of how precious life is and how many lives we devastate in our poor judgments. Good luck……………jenny.

  2. Mendota14 says:

    Consider seeing a therapist. You seemed to have really loved her and it sounds like you still do. There’s nothing wrong with seeing a therapist at all. The therapist will help you cope and help you get out your feelings. This could also help you by saving you from spiraling depression. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but remember that there are always people out there to help you.

  3. DrummerJ says:

    First I want to say I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. It can’t be easy. Always remind yourself that healing has NO time schedule. Take the time that YOU need to heal, even if it takes a long, long time. Secondly, I want to say that if after a couple weeks you feel like you can’t go on with ordinary life then you should definitely seek out some relief counseling. It is normal to feel empty, depressed, lonesome, confused and definitely cold/emotionless, but you can’t let it consume you to the core forever. Also, don’t feel guilty for her suicide. You can’t put the blame on yourself, because as upsetting as this sounds, constantly asking yourself “what if” won’t get you anywhere, she is gone.

    I really do feel bad for you man. I’ve been in a similar situation, and it is not easy.
    All you can do is cherish the moments you spent with her and never forget her. I’m sure she’ll always have a special place in your heart for the rest of your life, its bittersweet, but that’s life unfortunately. Just don’t do anything drastic. Life DOES go on..

  4. Sierra Mckenzie says:

    It’s not your fault….

  5. **Kesha** says:

    First of all, it’s not your fault at all. I am sure you did all that you could have. A person in like your girlfriend needed professional help and even that may not have changed her mind. You will be grieving, probably for what feels like forever, but you will get through this. Talk to a therapist.

  6. Midnight Sunrise says:

    She needed help and no one realized it. I mean it happens, don’t blame yourself

  7. Chloe...♥ says:


    Have you spoken to her parents or anything? How old are you? As your still at school she must be pretty young? Try going to a therapist and spending some time alone. This could help alot.

    My auntie died at just 19 in a car crash, it would of been such a hard time for my family as i wasnt born yet.