I want to move out of home but I feel really guilty………???



Learn to play guitar. basic beginner course that increases in difficult. acoustic, electric, and classical guitar. part 2. please leave comments and questions and suggestions. also, if there is a particular topic you’d like or learn or a song, let me know!

I know my parents love me v. much and I love them as well but I feel like I’m suffocating. They are so protective of me and my sister it’s unreal. It’s like they are always there checking up on me and I can’t get any space. I feel like a little girl….I have no independance or freedom because I’m not allowed to do anything. The other day, I had to walk from school to my guitar lesson – it’s a 5 minute walk – my mum then phones the music school and asks if I arrived ok! I am 17 years old!!! Anyway the situation is that I’ll be applying to unis after the summer and there is only 1 uni that I can go to that would still allow me to stay out home – for my other options I would have to move out. My parents want me to go to this uni so that I can carry on living at home and I am dreading the thought of living at home for the next 6 years….no way. I am so excited at the thought of moving out but at the same time I would feel guilty because my mum would be so depressed and upset and I….
really don’t want her to be but she can’t expect me to live with her forever!! I can’t bear to think how upset she’s going to get but I can’t take living at home anymore……please am I being selfish?
no no, no death of a child….but my mum’s mum died from cancer when my mum was like 23….so I dunno, maybe that has something to do with it?

Comments

  1. teddy says:

    You are old enough to make your own decisions, and your parents will get used to the idea of your move to Uni, don;t worry too much, in time they will come to see this is the right move for you.

  2. Stephen M says:

    Moving out of home is an important part of life, and going to uni is the easiest way to do it because it menas you move out gradually. You will still be going home regularly during the holidays so it can give both you and your parents time to get used to it.

    Don’t stay around just to please your parents. In my view living away from home and learning to be independent is almost as important a part of uni life as the actual degree.

  3. Yeah okay... says:

    You’re a big girl and almost 18. Do what’s best for your future, don’t let your parents baby-coddle you. Your mom will get over it.

  4. litt6767 says:

    I take it you are the oldest child so the first one to leave the nest. It would do you good to go to a university that you have to leave home for. They will get use to the idea. They have to be willing ot let you live life. If you let your mothers feelings decide how you life your life then you will never move out, never experience new things and never marry. She needs to go into some sort of support group to understand why she feels this way. Was there a death of a child or something like that??

  5. AM says:

    Your feeling suffocated is normal. You are asserting your independence and getting ready to be on your own. If you weren’t feeling suffocated, it would be considered abnormal! Its only 1 more year. Unfortunately this is something that you just have to stick out until you can go away to college. Just don’t do things that would make your parents not trust you, respect their rules and their space. For example, if they are requiring you to be home by 9pm on a weekend, do not throw a fit or scream or anything (my sister is 17 and reacts like this) but very calmly ask if you can stay out later. If they say no then you can say “I do not agree with your decision, as I have never given you a reason not to trust me, but OK, I will be home by 9.” And be home by 9. It sucks a LOT, trust me, I am 21 now and I went through it, my sister is going through it now, but you appreciate your parents *MUCH* more when you don’t have to live with them anymore! You don’t have much longer with them, and your time in your parents’ house is so short anyway, make the best of it and enjoy your freedom when you have it :-)

  6. sarahnicholesenter says:

    I suggest moving out, your parents will be upset but they will understand eventually. You are old enough to make your own decisions.

  7. lindagreendogs says:

    No you are not selfish. Your mom will get used to you being gone and your visits with her will be much more pleasant. Go for it.

  8. Jill C says:

    You’re not being selfish to want to move out on your own. Just go ahead and do it. It’s your mom’s responsibility to deal with that. At some point we mothers have to realize this was a temporary gig. Long term, but temporary nonetheless.

    You sound like a loving daughter, so when you move out just make sure you call her every night, and keep in touch.

    Now, about the calling to see if you arrived. Your mom trusts you – she just wants to make sure you are safe. It takes a good deal less than a minute for someone to cause you harm and change, or end, your life. What she is doing is called responsible parenting. Yes, most of the people you run across are going to be fine souls who mean you no harm. Guess how many of the other kind it will take to hurt or kill you? Only one.

    When you have given 10 months of living space, and spent the last decade and a half pouring out your love, your soul, your wisdom, your heart, into creating a decent human being, you’ll understand that you don’t want to live with wondering where that person’s body lies, or what torture she may be undergoing. You also will want to protect her from the consequences she may make by making bad choices. Irregardless of whether the choices are her fault or responsibility, no mama likes to see her babies hurting.

    So cut your mom a little break. Try not to see everything she does as mistrust of you, but a little bit of love in the form of protection in a world where evil runs amok.

  9. Lily says:

    Consider your self lucky you have parents like this.