Guitar Lessons: Why Does My Boyfriend Let Me Down ?

he doesn’t do this regularly but he still lets me down on arrangements sometimes and it really pisses me off. like yesterday we were out and i said do you want to come round mine tomorrow he goes yeah but i’m not promising anything (because i’m a big believer in the promise and if you break a promise i break your foot- not literally but he knows if he breaks too many i will dump him) so this morning we were texting and he goes so do you still want me to come round today, i replied yeah but only if you want to so he agreed to come round. yet 2 hours later i was getting a bit annoyed that he hadn’t mentioned a time he was going to come round so i said to him, ok if you do actually come round today just please tell me 20 mins in advance so i can get my make up on. then i got a reply saying i think i might leave it soz, i don’t mean it to be nasty do you still love me.
i hate it when he asks this after really upsetting me because yes i do still love him i just don’t feel like saying it when i’m pissed off and upset so i just go yh.

but if i do show how upset and angry i am he gets very upset and goes well i might as well end this if all i do is annoy you, i don’t want to loose him but he needs to realise if he didn’t keep doing stuff to piss me off (and tbh i don’t think its unfair me wanting him to keep plans and stop getting my hopes up) i wouldn’t get upset with him.

we have been good mates for 2 years and finally started dating 3 months ago (we are both 17), and since then he has been the best boyfriend i could ask for, he pays me compliments he treats me like a goddess and i know he loves me dearly and i do him back but its just this that ruins things. he has done this 3 times and it has really made me upset ever time because i make the effort to get up earlier to get ready or tidy the house properly if he is coming round and i resent the fact i make the effort and he can’t be bothered to come round and see me. i understand that he has his guitar lesson at 4 and is out for dinner at 7 but he could have said yesterday i can’t do tomorrow how about later on in the week. but no

what can i do, i don’t want to loose him so dumping him is a no no, i have loved him for 2 years and i have finally got what i have wanted for a long time so i’m not going to throw it away over this but how can i teach him not to be so unreliable.

sorry its long but thanks anyway.
plus he is now saying that what he said today wasn’t making plans, but to me saying you are going to come and see me is making plans.

Comments

  1. deab37 says:

    Too Long to read
    shorten it and Ill give it a look

  2. Belle Jolie says:

    i think that you should treat him the same way he does for example let him make plans (when he misses you) and then don;t show up give the same excuse he gives.. that’s the only way he can know that it’s annoying, and if he continues to ask u if u love him after making u upset just ignore him and sign out or anything it seems liek he’s blackmalining u by asking abbt ur feelings as if he knws thats ur weakness point :S i knwww this isnt smthng u wna hear but by acting the same way he acts will show you the diff between your conflicts forrr example if you didnt show up and he gets rllllly mad and reacted more than you did when HE didnt show up this means he’s an … *** :( compare that way.

  3. Bron says:

    I think he is giving you what is called “non committal” answers or he changes his mind because he wants to feel like he has some control over his life.
    My own daughter is going through a very similar thing with her boyfriend and I believe that boys …like men …want to feel that they have made decisions without being pressured into them by the gf. they don’t want to feel ‘pussy whipped”
    Just have a life beside your boyfriend..in other words..let him off the leash and show him that you are capable of having a life without him. Next time you ask him to come around I suggest that you say afterwards; ‘..if you don’t want to come that’s cool. I’ll just spend some time with my friends”
    And if he says that he’ll come and doesn’t turn up at the expected time… just go out.
    If he cancels on you like that again you can text him back that you went out…Show him that you can cope without him and you don’t wait around for him to show up.

    You are so young. Go out have fun. Don’t wait around for a bloke!!